Abhivādana-sīlissa—Niccaṃ vuḍḍhāpacāyino; Cattāro dhammā vaḍḍhanti—Āyu vaṇṇo sukhaṃ balaṃ. Āyurā rogya sampatti—sagga sampatti meva ca ato nibbāna sampatti—imina te samijjhatu
আপনি সকল বিপদ থেকে মুক্ত থাকুন এবং সমস্ত রোগ ধ্বংস হোক, আপনার জীবনে কোনো বাধা না আসুক, আপনি সুখী থাকুন এবং দীর্ঘায়ু হোন!
আপনার জীবনে সকল আশীর্বাদ বর্ষিত হোক, এবং সমস্ত দেবতারা আপনাকে রক্ষা করুন, সব বুদ্ধের শক্তিতে আপনি চিরকালের জন্য নিরাপদ থাকুন!
আপনার জীবনে সকল আশীর্বাদ বর্ষিত হোক, এবং সমস্ত দেবতারা আপনাকে রক্ষা করুন, সব ধর্মের শক্তিতে আপনি চিরকালের জন্য নিরাপদ থাকুন!
আপনার জীবনে সকল আশীর্বাদ বর্ষিত হোক, এবং সমস্ত দেবতারা আপনাকে রক্ষা করুন, পুরো সংঘের শক্তিতে আপনি চিরকালের জন্য নিরাপদ থাকুন!
যিনি সজ্জন ব্যক্তিদের সম্মান করেন এবং সর্বদা বয়োজ্যেষ্ঠদের সম্মান ও সেবা করেন, তাঁর জীবনে চারটি জিনিস বৃদ্ধি পায়: দীর্ঘায়ু, সৌন্দর্য, সুখ এবং শক্তি।
আপনার দীর্ঘ জীবন হোক এবং আপনি রোগমুক্ত থাকুন। আপনি স্বর্গে পুনর্জন্ম লাভ করুন। একদিন আপনি নির্বাণ লাভ করুন!
May you avoid all calamities and may all disease be destroyed, may there be no obstacles for you, may you be happy and live long!
May there be every blessing, and may all of the gods protect you, by the power of all the Buddhas may you be safe forever!
May there be every blessing, and may all of the gods protect you, by the power of all that is Dhamma may you be safe forever!
May there be every blessing, and may all of the gods protect you, by the power of the whole Saṅgha may you be safe forever! For the person who honors virtuous people And always respects and serves the elders, Four things increase: long life, beauty, happiness, and strength.
May you have long life and be free from illness. May you be reborn in heaven. May you one day attain Nibbāna!
Based on these 3 suttas 𝟏. 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐚-𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚: 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐚 𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝟔𝟏), 𝟐. 𝐌𝐚𝐡𝐚-𝐑𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐱𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐚 (𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝟔𝟐), 𝟑. 𝐂𝐮𝐥𝐚-𝐑𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐚 (𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝟏𝟒𝟕), the Buddha provided to Rahula at different stages of his life, which mirrors the three training paths to awakening: virtue, meditation, and wisdom. Parents, who are willing to pass on spiritual teachings and values to their children, should be inspired by the Buddha and how he guided Rahula in his spiritual journey. The Buddha’s response to Rahula’s request for inheritance, in which he encourages Rahula to ordain and inherit his path to liberation, serves as a model for the author in imparting Buddhist principles to their own child. (Note: After ordaining Rahula, King Suddhodana, the father of the Buddha objected to this decision and suggested Buddha not to ordain anyone without family consent, Buddha agreed with it and made a monastic code to apply that rule)
𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐞 (𝐒𝐢̄𝐥𝐚): In the first story (1. Ambalatthika-rahulovada Sutta: Instructions to Rahula at Mango Stone (Middle Length Discourse 61)), the Buddha teaches his son Rahula about living a life of integrity. When Rahula told a deliberate lie at the age of eight, the Buddha used a simple yet powerful analogy to convey the importance of truthfulness. He explained that someone unashamed of lying has a spiritual life as empty as an upside-down bowl. The Buddha emphasized the need to avoid falsehood, even in jest.
This approach highlights the ineffectiveness of harsh punishment in disciplining children and underscores the significance of imparting moral values calmly. After addressing the lie, the Buddha urged Rahula to reflect on the consequences of his actions, focusing on whether they bring harm or benefit. This approach shifts the moral framework from absolutes to self-awareness and empathy.
The Buddha’s guidance stresses the importance of cultivating a child’s capacity for empathy, emphasizing the role of parental modeling. He also encouraged Rahula to admit mistakes and seek guidance from wise individuals when harm is done. This highlights the crucial role parents play in nurturing a child’s integrity, as children are more likely to be honest when they are in a trusting and supportive environment rather than a punitive one.
𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐚̄𝐝𝐡𝐢): The second story (2. Maha-Rahulovada Sutta: The Greater Exhortation to Rahula (Middle Length Discourse 62)) illustrates how the Buddha introduced meditation to his son Rahula as a means to nurture inner well-being. At a young teen, Rahula expressed vanity about his appearance to his father during their morning almsround. The Buddha responded by teaching him a profound lesson on the consequences of self-attachment through identifying with the physical body or any mental aspects.
This teaching raises questions about admonishing a teenager for feelings of vanity and interfering with their normal developmental process. However, the Buddha’s response becomes clear in his subsequent guidance. After Rahula’s request for instruction in breathing meditation, the Buddha used analogies to explain how to maintain equanimity during meditation, emphasizing the importance of qualities like lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Only then did he teach Rahula breath meditation in sixteen stages, highlighting its power in cultivating inner well-being and preparing for the moment of one’s death.
This approach offers an alternative to rigid self-conceptions and underscores the importance of inner tranquility. It’s a method that can help adolescents navigate the challenges of self-identity and find stability and peace during their teenage years. Additionally, breath meditation is emphasized as a valuable practice throughout life, including in preparing for the end of one’s life.
𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 (𝐏𝐚𝐧̃𝐧̃𝐚̄): In the final sutta (3. Cula-Rahulovada Sutta: The Shorter Exposition to Rahula (Middle Length Discourse 147), the Buddha guides his devoted son Rahula toward liberating wisdom. By this time, Rahula had dedicated much of his teenage years to the path of awakening, demonstrating exceptional commitment to training. When Rahula turned twenty, his father recognized that he was close to achieving liberation. The Buddha took his son deep into the woods, where he led Rahula through a comprehensive series of questions aimed at unraveling the clinging to the concept of a self. For someone as well-trained as Rahula, shedding the deeply ingrained belief in an essential self can be the last obstacle to liberation. The Buddha’s teaching on not-self is not merely abstract philosophy but practical instruction on finding happiness through letting go.
The setting in nature is significant, as it highlights the different perspectives and sense of peace that nature provides, facilitating the release of self-concern. The experience of contemplating letting go amidst a quiet grove of trees contrasts with doing so in the confines of urban life. This sutta emphasizes the importance of self-discovery within the context of the natural world.
The story of Rahula’s journey illustrates how the pursuit of awakening is the greatest happiness in Buddhism. The hope for one’s children is to lead them on the path of awakening, providing them with the peace, happiness, and safety that it offers. The three trainings of virtue, meditation, and wisdom are essential components of this path.
The Buddha has taught many suttas regarding married life to the laities to maintain their lives happily. Buddhism teaches that the husband and wife should fulfill their duties towards each other to avoid separation or divorce. The Buddha also emphasized the importance of love and attentiveness in a marriage.
The most popular suttars are Singalovada Sutta, Uggaha Sutta, Sanvasa Sutta, Samajivi Sutta, Mallika Sutta, Sattabhariya Sutta in the Digha Nikaya and the Anguttara Nikaya. There is also a series of stories of a famous Buddhist couple about ‘Nakula Mata and Nakula Pita’ who can be deemed as good role models to emulate for lay-married couples, in order to live in harmony, loving-kindness, and mutual understanding with each other.
Moreover, if there is mutual understanding and faith between spouses it will bring happiness to the whole family and enable them to live in peace and harmony throughout their life and afterlife.
The most famous Singalovada Sutta reveals the duties of husband and wife. According to this Sutta, the husband’s responsibilities are categorized as follows,
(i) By being courteous to her,
(ii) By not despising her,
(iii) By being faithful to her,
(iv) By handing over authority to her,
(v) By providing her with adornments.
On the other hand, as mentioned in the same Sutta, the wife should be mindful of five responsibilities towards her husband such as:
(i) She performs her duties well,
(ii) She is hospitable to relations and attendants
(iii) She is faithful,
(iv) She protects what he brings,
(v) She is skilled and industrious in discharging her duties.
Thus, by following these Buddhist concepts, anyone can get guidance in order to develop their moral character and thereby benefit in life. Consequently, moral thoughts will lead to protecting the bondage enriching relationships between the spouses and family members and creating a peaceful environment.
In the discourse of the seven wives (Satta Bhariya Sutta), the Buddha has categorized wives into seven types according to their characters as follows.
A wife like a killer,
A wife like a thief,
A wife like a dictator,
A wife like a mother,
A wife like a sister,
A wife like a friend, and
A wife like a bondservant.
As mentioned above, the first three of these seven wives cannot be accepted as good and virtuous wives due to their bad behavior and deeds towards their husbands and other family members. According to their characteristic thoughts, they do not have mercy, engage in illicit affairs, do not respect their husbands, always try to discard the husband’s relations, steal the husbands’ earnings and valuable things, dictate bad, rough and hurtful words and try to control the husbands in every situation.
These three wives of killer, thief and dictator always bring unhappiness to the family which creates issues among the family members.
On the other hand, the other four wives motherly wife, sisterly wife, friendly wife, and bondservant wife possess good qualities, do good deeds, conduct themselves well, and act as friends towards their husbands in their daily lives.
Accordingly, these moralistic and good wives develop their mercy, sympathy and kindness, constantly protect their husbands, provide good food for them, take care of their husbands as their own elder brothers, stay close to them, develop friendly manners as friends, smiles and share jokes with understanding, use kind words, do not get angry, try to fulfill needs of husbands, do every domestic work cooperatively and willingly, always try to keep the family happy and are sincere, genuine to each and every relative of both families. Hence, the Buddha has advised to associate those wives because they are able to maintain and sustain the happiness among their children and husbands. As stated above, in this society, there are some husbands who ill-treat their wives like the first three wives.
On the other hand, we can find friendly husbands who protect their wives as fathers and elder brothers and uphold their happiness at home sharing and caring, leading a harmonious life.
The discourse of the Samvasa Sutta in the Anguttara Nikaya elucidates spouses in four ways. The Buddha has divided husbands and wives according to their wholesome and unwholesome thoughts, virtues, behavior and deeds.
Accordingly, the categorized spouses are:
1. A zombie man living with a zombie woman
2. A zombie man living with a Goddess
3. A God living with a zombie woman
4. A God living with a Goddess
The last category ‘A God and a Goddess’ is the most wholesome, ideal pair as the husband and wife cooperate with everyone due to their good will and good conduct in society. They do not harm anyone and perform their duties and obligations to each other respectfully. They possess good qualities, and manners, believe in merits, demerits, and Karmic power (actions) according to Buddha’s teaching, and they avoid committing wrong deeds or unwholesome acts at all times.
In brief, Buddhism provides valuable insights into how to lead a happy married life. By following these principles and fulfilling their duties towards each other with love and attentiveness, couples can build a strong foundation for a long-lasting relationship. These diverse Buddhist teachings elaborate on how laymen and women can live harmoniously together enjoying marital bliss and leading a contented life in this short life span.
May whatever you wish or want quickly come to be, may all your aspirations be fulfilled, as the moon on the fifteenth (full moon) day, or as a radiant, bright gem.
Sabbītiyo vivajjantu Sabba-rogo vinassatu Mā te bhavatvantarāyo Sukhī dīgh’āyuko bhava.
May all distresses be averted. may every disease be destroyed. May there be no dangers for you. May you be happy & live long.
For one of respectful nature who constantly honors the worthy, Four qualities increase: long life, beauty, happiness, strength.
Āyurārogya sampatti – sagga sampatti meva ca Ato nibbāna sampatti – iminā te samijjhatu!
Through these wholesome deeds, May you achieve the wealth of long life, good health, and a place of happiness, And eventually may you attain Nibbana, the Supreme Bliss!
To pay respect to, and ask forgiveness of, the Buddha’s relics, relics of the Noble Disciples, Buddha images, stupas, the Bodhi tree — all of which are objects that all Buddhists should respect, both inwardly and outwardly:
[Ratanattayamagāra pāṭha] Arahaṃ sammā-sambuddho bhagavā. The Blessed One is Worthy & Rightly Self-awakened. Buddhaṃ bhagavantaṃ abhivādemi. I bow down before the Awakened, Blessed One.
(BOW DOWN)
Svākkhāto bhagavatā dhammo. The Dhamma is well-expounded by the Blessed One. Dhammaṃ namassāmi. I pay homage to the Dhamma.
(BOW DOWN)
Supaṭipanno bhagavato sāvaka-saṅgho. The Sangha of the Blessed One’s disciples has practiced well. Saṅghaṃ namāmi. I pay respect to the Sangha.
(BOW DOWN)
Asking for Forgiveness from the Bhante Laity: Okāsa, ahaṃ (mayaṃ) bhante, dvārattayena kataṃ sabbaṃ aparādhaṃ khamatu me (no) bhante. I (we) ask for your leave. I (we) ask you to forgive me (us) for whatever wrong I (we) have done with the three doors (of body, speech, & mind).
Laity: Okāsa, ahaṃ bhante, tisaraṇena saha pañca sīlaṃ dhammaṃ yācāmi, anuggahaṃ katvā sīlaṃ detha me bhante. Permit me, Bhante, I ask for the three refuges together with the five precepts. Please, Bhante, kindly administer the precepts to me.
Dutiyaṃpi,Okāsa, ahaṃ bhante, tisaraṇena saha pañca sīlaṃ dhammaṃ yācāmi, anuggahaṃ katvā sīlaṃ detha me bhante. A second time permit me, Bhante, I ask for the three refuges together with the five precepts. Please, Bhante, kindly administer the precepts to me.
Tatiyaṃpi,Okāsa, ahaṃ bhante, tisaraṇena saha pañca sīlaṃ dhammaṃ yācāmi, anuggahaṃ katvā sīlaṃ detha me bhante. A third time permit me, Bhante, I ask for the three refuges together with the five precepts. Please, Bhante, kindly administer the precepts to me.
Monk: Yamahaṃ vadāmi taṃ vadetha. Repeat after me.
Laity: Āma bhante. Yes Bhante.
Monk: Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa. (Three times.) Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Rightly Self-awakened One.
Laity: Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa. (Three times.) Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Rightly Self-awakened One.
(Tisaraṇa-Three Refuges)
Monk: Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Saṅghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. I go to the Buddha for refuge I go to the Dhamma for refuge I go to the Sangha for refuge
Laity: Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Saṅghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. I go to the Buddha for refuge I go to the Dhamma for refuge I go to the Sangha for refuge
Monk: Dutiyaṃpi, Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dutiyaṃpi, Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dutiyaṃpi, Saṅghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. For a second time, I go to the Buddha for refuge For a second time, I go to the Dhamma for refuge For a second time, I go to the Saṅgha for refuge
Laity: Dutiyaṃpi, Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dutiyaṃpi, Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Dutiyaṃpi, Sanghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. For a second time, I go to the Buddha for refuge For a second time, I go to the Dhamma for refuge For a second time, I go to the Sangha for refuge
Monk:Tatiyaṃpi, Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Tatiyaṃpi, Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Tatiyaṃpi, Sanghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. For a third time, I go to the Buddha for refuge For a third time, I go to the Dhamma for refuge For a third time, I go to the Sangha for refuge
Laity:Tatiyaṃpi, Buddhaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Tatiyaṃpi, Dhammaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. Tatiyaṃpi, Sanghaṃ Saraṇam Gacchāmi. For a third time, I go to the Buddha for refuge For a third time, I go to the Dhamma for refuge For a third time, I go to the Sangha for refuge
Monk: Tisaraṇa Gamanaṃ Paripunnaṃ. Taking Three Refuges are complete.
Laity: Āma bhante. Yes, Bhante.
Pañcasīla-Five Precepts
Monk: Pānātipātā Veramaṇi Sikkhā-padaṃ Samādiyāmi. I undertake the training rule of refraining from killing living creatures. Laity: (Repeat after the monk)
Monk: Adinnādānā Veramaṇi Sikkhā-padaṃ Samādiyāmi. I undertake the training rule of refraining from taking what has not been given. Laity: (Repeat after the monk)
Monk: Kāmesu Micchācārā Veramaṇi Sikkhā-padaṃ Samādiyāmi. I undertake the training rule of refraining from sexual misconduct Laity: (Repeat after the monk)
Monk: Musāvādā Veramaṇi Sikkhā-padaṃ Samādiyāmi. I undertake the training rule of refraining from false speech Laity: (Repeat after the monk)
Monk: Surameraya-majjha-pamādaṭṭhānā Veramaṇi Sikkhā-padaṃ Samādiyāmi. I undertake the training rule of refraining from liquor, wines, or intoxicants which cause heedlessness. Laity: (Repeat after the monk)
Monk: Tisaraṇena Saha Pañca Sīlaṃ Dhhammaṃ Sādhukaṃ Surakkhitaṃ Katvā Appamādena Sampādetha. Having well undertaken and kept the five precepts, together with the three refuges, one should strive on with diligence.
Laity: Āma Bhante. Yes, Bhante.
Monk: Sīlena sugatiṃ yanti, Sīlena bhoga‧sampadā, Sīlena nibbutiṃ yanti, Tasmā sīlaṃ visodhaye. With morality, good rebirth is gained; With morality, wealth is achieved; With morality, perfect peace is attained. Therefore, morality should be puri
There are 4 things no God, monk, priest, man, woman, or anyone in the world guarantees you.
1. No-one can guarantee that someone liable to old age will not grow old.
2. No-one can guarantee that someone liable to sickness will not get sick.
3. No-one can guarantee that someone liable to death will not die.
4. No-one can guarantee that the bad deeds done in past lives—corrupting, leading to future lives, hurtful, resulting in suffering and future rebirth, old age, and death—will not produce their result.
Then the householder Anāthapiṇḍika approached the Blessed One, paid homage to him, and sat down to one side. The Blessed One then said to him:
“Householder, there are these five things that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world. What five? Long life, householder, is wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world. Beauty … Happiness … Fame … The heavens are wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world. These are the five things that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world.
“These five things, householder, that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world, I say, are not obtained by means of prayers or aspirations. If these five things that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and rarely gained in the world could be obtained by means of prayers or aspirations, who here would be lacking in anything?
(1) “Householder, the noble disciple who desires long life ought not to pray for long life or delight in it or passively yearn for it. A noble disciple who desires long life should practice the way conducive to long life. For when he practices the way conducive to long life, it leads to obtaining long life, and he gains long life either celestial or human.
(2) “Householder, the noble disciple who desires beauty … (3) … who desires happiness … (4) … who desires fame ought not to pray for fame or delight in it or passively yearn for it. A noble disciple who desires fame should practice the way conducive to fame. For when he practices the way conducive to fame, it leads to obtaining fame, and he gains fame either celestial or human.
(5) “Householder, the noble disciple who desires the heavens ought not to pray for the heavens or delight in them or passively yearn for them. A noble disciple who desires the heavens should practice the way conducive to heaven. For when he practices the way conducive to heaven, it leads to obtaining the heavens, and he gains the heavens.”
For one desiring long life, beauty, fame, acclaim, heaven, high families, and lofty delights following in succession, the wise praise heedfulness in doing deeds of merit.
Being heedful, the wise person secures both kinds of good: the good in this life, and the good of the future life. By attaining the good, the steadfast one is called one of wisdom.
“Mendicants, there are five times that are not good for meditation. What five?
Firstly, a mendicant is old, overcome with old age. This is the first time that’s not good for meditation.
Furthermore, a mendicant is sick, overcome by sickness. This is the second time that’s not good for meditation.
Furthermore, there’s a famine, a bad harvest, so it’s hard to get almsfood, and not easy to keep going by collecting alms. This is the third time that’s not good for meditation.
Furthermore, there’s peril from wild savages, and the countryfolk mount their vehicles and flee everywhere. This is the fourth time that’s not good for meditation.
Furthermore, there’s a schism in the Saṅgha. When the Saṅgha is split, they abuse, insult, block, and reject each other. This doesn’t inspire confidence in those without it, and it causes some with confidence to change their minds. This is the fifth time that’s not good for meditation.
These are the five times that are not good for meditation.
There are five times that are good for meditation. What five?
Firstly, a mendicant is a youth, young, black-haired, blessed with youth, in the prime of life. This is the first time that’s good for meditation.
Furthermore, they are rarely ill or unwell. Their stomach digests well, being neither too hot nor too cold, but just right, and fit for meditation. This is the second time that’s good for meditation.
Furthermore, there’s plenty of food, a good harvest, so it’s easy to get almsfood, and easy to keep going by collecting alms. This is the third time that’s good for meditation.
Furthermore, people live in harmony, appreciating each other, without quarreling, blending like milk and water, and regarding each other with kindly eyes. This is the fourth time that’s good for meditation.
Furthermore, the Saṅgha lives comfortably, in harmony, appreciating each other, without quarreling, with one recitation. When the Saṅgha is in harmony, they don’t abuse, insult, block, or reject each other. This inspires confidence in those without it, and increases confidence in those who have it. This is the fifth time that’s good for meditation.
These are the five times that are good for meditation.”
In Pataliputta, which later became the capital of Emperor Asoka, there lived two nuns named Bodhi and Isidasi who were good friends. They had both destroyed all defilements and attained enlightenment. One day the friends discussed their past histories and their initiation to the Noble Order. Bhikkuni Bodhi, who was elderly, had undergone great suffering. She told her story to Isidasi and then asked the young and beautiful nun how someone as beautiful and likable as she had experienced the suffering of existence. Bodhi said,
“You are lovely, noble Isidasi, And your youth has not yet faded. What was the flaw that you had seen That led you to pursue renunciation?” – (Therigatha 403)
Isidasi then told her life story. She had been born in the city of Ujjeni as the much-loved only daughter of a rich merchant. When she came of age, a wealthy merchant who was a friend of her father asked for her hand in marriage for his son. Isidasi’sparents were overjoyed at the proposal as they knew the family well. Isidasi, who was a model daughter, displayed these qualities and behaviour to her husband and in-laws. She soon she won over the hearts of her parents-in-law. Isidasi also grew to love her husband. Disregarding the help offered by her servants she took care of all his meals and needs herself. However, despite her love and model behaviour, her husband soon tired of her. Isidasi describes her life as follows:
“By myself I cooked the rice, By myself I washed the dishes. As a mother looks after her only son, So did I serve my husband. I showed him devotion unsurpassed, I served him with a humble mind, I arose early, I was diligent, virtuous, And yet my husband hated me.” – (Therigatha 412-413)
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While admitting to his parents that Isidasi was blameless her husband insisted that he could no longer live with her. However, as she had done no wrong, he offered to leave the city and start a new life elsewhere. Isidasi’s parents-in-law were devastated. They loved their daughter-in-law and did not want to lose her. Thinking that there was a problem that their son was hesitant to tell them, they questioned Isidasi. She answered truthfully as follows:
“I have done nothing wrong, I have done him no harm, I have not spoken rudely to him. What have I done that my husband hates me?” – (Therigatha 418)
Her parents-in-law were perplexed and disappointed. They had grown to love Isidasi as a daughter. They did not, however, want their son to move away to another city. They decided to send Isidasi back to her parents, certain that with her beauty and kindness she would easily find another suitable partner. This rejection was devastating to Isidasi. Being sent back to one’s parents was a disgrace and a shame in Indian society at the time of the Buddha. Isidasi describes her pain as follows:
“Rejected, overcome by suffering, They led me back to my father’s house. While appeasing our son, they exclaimed, We have lost the beautiful goddess of fortune”. – ( Therigatha 419)
Isidasi’sparents were perplexed by what had happened. Accepting the inevitable they began looking for a suitable husband. Before long they found a wealthy young man who was so overcome by Isidasi’sbeauty and deportment that he offered to provide half of the usual marriage dowry that was given by the bride’s father. Despite the fact that Isidasi lavished her attention on her new husband and treated him with utmost respect, the same pattern followed. Within a month he returned her to her father and annulled the marriage, though he could give no cause for his extreme dislike of his model wife.
Isidasi was devastated. This second rejection pierced her heart like a poisoned arrow. She moped around the house, dejected. When a mendicant came to their house begging for alms, Isidasi’s desperate father offered her to the ascetic. The ascetic seemed to be unsatisfied with his solitarylife. The prospect of a beautiful wife and a life of luxury in a splendid mansion appealed to him. Giving his begging bowl and robes to her father he accepted Isidasi as his wife. But after two weeks he brought her back and asked for his robe and bowl. “He preferred”, he said, “to be the poorest man on earth than to live with Isidasi under the same roof.” Despite the fact that they pleaded to know the reason for the rejection he could give none. “All he knew, he said, was that he could not live with her.”
Isidasi was ready to commit suicide. The shame and sorrow of three rejections were too hard to bear. She was planning for her death when a Buddhist nun named Jinaddata came to their house for alms. Pleased by her serenity and countenance, Isidasi asked permission from her father to enter the Noble Order. Her father was hesitant as he did not want to lose her company, but seeing the suffering in his beloved daughter’s eyes, he agreed. He then urged her to attain the supreme state of Nibbana.
“Then my father said to me Attain enlightenment and the supreme state Gain Nibbana which the Best of Men Has Himself already realized”. – (Therigatha 432)
She explained the cause of her present suffering to her friend Bodhi. Eight lifetimes ago Isidasi had been born a man – a rich, handsome and dashing goldsmith. Women had been attracted to him and he had taken advantage of them even though they were other men’s wives and innocent girls. He flitted from woman to woman, breaking hearts, quite oblivious to the pain and suffering he was causing. He wanted to take his pleasure again and again. He wanted change. The fact that he had broken many hearts and marriages did not bother him at all. They were all trophies that he could brag about.
After suffering in hellish torment for the lifespan of the plane he was reborn in the womb of a monkey. Seven days after his birth the leader of the monkeys, seeing a threat to his position from the new-born monkey, bit his genitals and castrated him. Isidasi describes this act, done to prevent future rivalry, as follows:
“A great monkey leader of the troops, Castrated me when I was seven days old, This was the fruit of that kamma Because I had seduced others wives.” – (Therigatha 437)
At death he was reborn as a sheep, the offspring of a lame, one-eyed ewe. He lived in misery for twelve years, infected with intestinal worms, obliged to transport children and pull the plough and cart with hardly any rest. Hard work was what the frivolous goldsmith had avoided and hard work was what he now had to endure as a beast of burden. He had been castrated by his owner and his life was a misery of intense, hard work with loss of sight in his latter years.
In his next birth he (the former goldsmith) was reborn as a female. He had now become a woman, the object of his former desire. The woman’s father was a good-for-nothing carter who failed at every endeavor. He gave his daughter to a rich merchant to pay his debts. Despite her pleas she found herself taken into the merchant’s household as a slave girl. She was sixteen years old and an attractive girl. After some time, the son of the household fell in love with her, and took her as his second wife. Naturally, the first wife was most displeased with this arrangement. The slave girl, however, did everything in her power to strike discord between the husband and wife, as she liked her new position. This resulted in much fighting and quarreling in the household until she finally succeeded in breaking up the marriage and separating the husband and his first wife.
“This was the fruit of that past deed, That although I served them like a slave, They rejected me and went away; Of that too I have made an end.” – (Therigatha 447)
We can all benefit from Isidasi’s story. Over time, especially in the western world, moral values have deteriorated. Young men and women are very casual about sexual behaviour and the media and television have glorified sex through advertisements, movies and magazines. What was once considered immoral is now considered moral. Despite the ignorance of humankind, the law of kamma operates. The Buddha laid down a very simple moral code to follow regarding sexual behavior. As Buddhists we are not only advised to refrain from adultery and rape, but we are cautioned against inappropriate sexual behavior of any kind. This includes relationships with those under the guardianship of parents, relatives and friends and relationships with members of religious orders who have taken the vows of celibacy. Buddhists should not indulge in casual sex but should exercise restraint and ensure that they form meaningful, long-term relationships based on love and commitment before they give in to their desires. Buddhists should also actively work at preventing child abuse and the breaking up and disruption of marriages caused by casual relationships.
Karuna Buddhist Society 